Advice for Dancers: Can Dancers Find Their Romeos Online?

August 30, 2016

Dating tips for busy performers,
plus how to keep your energy up while eating vegan

What’s your opinion about dating sites? Most of my dancer friends use OkCupid to meet people outside of our crazy performance schedules. I gave it a try—only to discover that the nice guy online cheats like my last boyfriend, who I met at a bar. Help!

—Heartbroken, Yonkers, NY

Sadly, there are no guarantees in love whether you meet that special someone in person or online. Still, dating sites do save dancers precious time in their busy workday. If you are considering online dating, it pays to do your homework by googling reviews of the site to help you get an idea of the kinds of members it attracts. Once you start seeing someone new, I like to refer to it as the “audition” phase, where you slowly get to know each other. Watch out for red flags, such as inconsistent behavior, mysterious phone calls or texts and roving eyes. That, along with a history of short-term relationships, could signal problems with lying and monogamy. If you have concerns, try to discuss them rationally, but be prepared to run, not walk, to the nearest exit if you get blamed for being insecure. In the meantime, consider this quirky fact: Breakups activate some of the same pain centers in the brain as a physical injury. If you’re still hurting from the end of your latest relationship, taking Tylenol for the next two weeks can work wonders.

I switched to a vegan diet six months ago because I am against animal cruelty, but I’m starting to feel increasingly tired and run-down. Could my diet be affecting my energy?

—Alyssa, Seattle, WA

Absolutely. While I admire your determination to be true to your beliefs, it can be tough to meet your nutritional needs as a vegan—and a dancer. As you know, a typical vegan diet excludes all animal products, including eggs, dairy, meat, seafood and honey. Unless you understand how to get the nutrients you need, you may be depriving yourself of crucial food components like fat-soluble vitamins and high-quality protein. Another potential problem for vegans is vitamin B12 deficiency, which has been linked to anemia (which goes hand in hand with fatigue). But that doesn’t mean you can’t be a dancer and a vegan. See your doctor for a checkup and complete blood count to assess your levels of nutrients like vitamin B12 and iron. You should also see a registered dietitian who can work with you to create a balanced diet. Fortified foods and supplements can help prevent nutritional imbalances in a vegan diet, while complete sources of protein, like quinoa, with all nine essential amino acids, along with healthy fats and protein from nuts and nut butters can help you maintain your energy.

What’s the safest way to return to class after being sidelined with a bad back? I’ve stayed in shape with Pilates, and my doctor says I’m ready for barre as long as I cut out anything strenuous—but that’s practically the entire barre in company class. I don’t see how this is going to work.

—Curtis, Queens, NY

Based on your doctor’s advice and your own concerns, it sounds like your body’s not ready to return to company class. Taking barre with your colleagues might add undue pressure to catch up prematurely. A transition class that bridges the gap between rehab and recovery would be ideal. You need time to trust your body as you rebuild your ability to dance at your peak. My advice is to find an adult beginner or intermediate dance class with a smart teacher who focuses on proper placement, while taking past injuries into account. Once you’ve mastered the entire class, you can move up to more advanced levels with your doctor’s approval. As always, keep your director informed about your progress. Many dancers come back better than before by taking a slow, methodical approach to their career post-injury. 

Send your questions to:

Dr. Linda Hamilton

2000 Broadway, PH2C, New York, NY 10023

email: [email protected]

Former New York City Ballet dancer Linda Hamilton, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice, the author of
Advice for Dancers
(Jossey-Bass) and co-author of The Dancer’s Way: The New York City Ballet Guide to Mind, Body, and Nutrition (St. Martin’s Griffin). Her website is