Advice for Dancers: Tainted Love
Are dancers’ relationships doomed? Plus advice for a successful company class audition.
Since hearing the news of yet another marriage crumbling after only a few years, I’ve begun to wonder if love and dance are a toxic mix. What’s up with relationships?
—Christine, Atlanta, GA
I don’t think love is toxic for dancers as long as they, much like the rest of society, are able to handle longer working hours and money pressures in our fast-paced 21st-century. But there is a price to pay for the impact of these additional demands on relationships. According to recent research, the “three-year glitch” has now replaced the “seven-year itch” as the new tipping point when couples start taking each other for granted. Ways to keep passion alive include setting aside time for romantic dates, giving each other regular compliments and allowing individual space to decompress. Taking occasional solo vacations without your partner can help keep the spark alive by letting you see each other with fresh eyes when you return. Although dancers’ demanding schedules may be overwhelming at times, we’ve come a long way in creating well-balanced lives.
I’m heartbroken that I might have to drop out of the
Radio City Christmas Spectacular. My back has been spasming since I did an extra-high kick to the back. My X-ray and MRI are normal, but my doctor thinks I hurt my sacroiliac joint. Physical therapy hasn’t helped yet. How can I know for sure that this is the real problem?
—Injured Rockette, New York, NY
I can understand your heartbreak, given that landing the
Christmas Spectacular is a dream job for many dancers. Yet it’s also smart to question a diagnosis if you continue to have muscle spasms (which are the body’s way of protecting the area from further damage). Doctors make an initial diagnosis based on the location and nature of your pain combined with test results. In general, an X-ray checks for bone injuries, whereas an MRI focuses on soft-tissue damage. Since both appear normal, the only way to be absolutely certain that you’re targeting the injury is through a sonographic- or X-ray-guided diagnostic injection. This requires a specialist who uses one of these techniques to locate and inject the joint with lidocaine (if it stops the pain, you’ve confirmed your diagnosis) or a combination of lidocaine and a small amount of steroids for a therapeutic injection. In the latter case, this injection speeds up the healing process as long as you take time off from dancing to let it work. If you don’t notice any improvement after the injections, your doctor may want to do further tests, such as a bone or CAT scan. An accurate diagnosis is crucial because the treatment should match the injury. If the pain worsens, ask your doctor if it’s safe to continue rehearsing and performing. To help keep your spirits up, turn to your network of friends and family for support, as well as other injured dancers in PT who can empathize.
I can’t believe this incredible director is interested in me! After months of him “liking” my dance photos on social media but hearing nothing from my email request to take company class, I’d given up hope. Then he suddenly emailed me to “come whenever you want!” He knows I want to dance better roles than the corps parts in my big company. How can I make a good impression?
—Anonymous
You’ve already made a good impression! While your initial impact might have been through social media, there had to be a “wow” factor for him to invite you to company class. So don’t sell yourself short. Instead, use this opportunity to wow him again, up close and personal, with your dancing. The key to achieving peak performance is to lower the stakes from a win/lose situation to a free class. Then, present yourself in the most professional light by warming up properly, smiling naturally (which relaxes others and conveys confidence) and taking a moment afterwards to speak to the director—unless he appears rushed. If possible, it’s ideal to take several classes so he can get a sense of your abilities overall, while you assess how you fit into the company. The big talk about whether he thinks you are soloist or principal material happens if he offers you a contract. But since no one can predict the future, also set up auditions with other companies that appeal to you. The more options you have, the less pressure you’ll feel and the greater the chance for success.
Send your questions to:
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email: [email protected]
Former New York City Ballet dancer Linda Hamilton, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice, the author of
Advice for Dancers (Jossey-Bass) and co-author of The Dancer’s Way: The New York City Ballet Guide to Mind, Body, and Nutrition (St. Martin’s Griffin). Her website is drlindahamilton.com.
